Plankton Oughta Be in Pictures plus The Purple Swamp Expedition
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: Plankton starts a drive-in movie business at the Chum Bucket. Things start out fine until SpongeBob and Squidward infiltrate it. In the second episode Sandy demands that Mr. Krabs send her and SpongeBob on a perilous journey and Mr. Krabs complies, sending the pair off to find a rare swamp flower used in the crabby patty secret formula.
1. Chapter 1

It was a typical day at the Chum Bucket. Yes, typical in the sense that it didn't feel like a "day" at all. No customers, no service, no nothing. Nothing but an empty  
shell of a protozoa. But let's not make things sound too bad. I mean zeh guy does have a wife after all.  
"Karen, we need a new plan to steal the crabby patty secret formula!" shouted Plankton.

"WHYY?" shrieked Karen in an angry batty tone.  
"I like stealing formulas it's kind of my thing" replied Plankton.

"Oh, I know," replied Karen.

"So, what's so bad about stealing formulas?" asked Plankton.

"Sheldon, you've been trying that for so many decades now your entire autobiography would be filled with nothing but doing exactly that!" suggested Karen.

"Hrumph," groaned Plankton. "I suppose you're right dear. I need to do my own thing for once"  
"Oh gee, you never had that thought before?" asked Karen.

"Um...well..no!" said Plankton shrugging.  
"Maybe I could help you" said Karen.

"We've been down that road before," said Plankton. "How could you possibly help me?" he asked.  
"BARTHOLOMEW! GET UP HERE!" shouted Karen. Karen of course was referring to a seahorse that would help activate certain functions on the keyboard when Plankton  
didn't feel like climbing up there. Bartholomew hit a certain key and within an instant a device that looked like a coffee holder ejected itself from Karen.  
"Thanks Bartholomew you're a real savior!" said Karen.

"Oh, why don't you just divorce me and marry him then" said Plankton.

"You're missing the point Sheldon" said Karen.

"What? You have a coffee holder so what?" said Plankton.  
"It's not a coffee holder Sheldon. It's a DVD player. You can put all kinds of things on it, not just coffee" explained Karen.  
"Oh, I see. Movies. You think people will come to my establishment to see Citizen Blobfish instead of eating delicious fresh chum on a stick?" asked Plankton.  
"Well, if you want me to be honest, the food here is not very good" said Karen.  
"How would you know? You can't even eat you're a computer" said Plankton.  
"Actually I have a stack of crabby patties I keep hidden. It's why I've been putting on weight" said Karen.  
"Oh. Well I haven't noticed!" said Plankton.  
"Thank you Sheldon" said Karen, blushing. She then showed Plankton a video from Bikini Bottom in the 1930's.

Drive in Movies! They're great for all fish!  
Fish love drive in movies! Take Benjamin Bluegill for example. He gets the best of both worlds.  
Fish can now see what happens above the surface too, thanks to imported films from the land above.  
Just look at Benjamin. He's so happy. Finally he can get a taste of a meal AND a movie.  
Drive in Movies! Fish love them, and there's nothing fishy about that.

Drive in Movies! The newest sensation to hit Bikini Bottom.  
Don't miss it!

"What did you think? Too many fish puns?" asked Karen.  
"I don't know probably the worst commercial I've ever seen" said Plankton.

"Too many? Are you sure there weren't enough?" asked Karen.

"I will never do any more fish puns! IT IS MY SOLE DISCRETION!" said Plankton.

"You just did one. Worst one ever" said Karen.

"Oh!" said Plankton, shrugging.  
"Listen, Plankton, we can bring this sensation back!" said Karen.  
"Why would I wanna do that? Besides, don't you have Troutatron Prime installed?"  
"You know we could never afford that. Sheldon, let's just try this okay?" said Karen.

"No! This idea is stupid! Besides, every ten years we get a halfway decent payment from ACME Villain Inc to make robots, oh, ten years, yeah!" said Plankton.

"I want DVD's Sheldon! CD-Roms do nothing for me! It's DVD's or we're through!" ordered Karen.  
"Oh, alright, if you insist!" said Plankton. "After all, what could possibly go wrong?" he added.

"Exactly. And make sure you get good movies!" said Karen.

"Don't worry. I know how to secure a copy of the hit horror movie THE FISHING! HAAHAHAHAAHAA!" laughed Plankton.

That day at the Krusty Krab:

"SQUIDWARD! It's a miracle. People are actually going to the Chum Bucket! Plankton has customers now, I'm so happy for him" said SpongeBob starry-eyed.  
Mr. Krabs rushed into the room like a crazed lightening bolt of paranoid lunacy.  
"What? Plankton has customers? That's terrible. Alert the Navy! NOW!" shouted Krabs.  
"Mr. Krabs, you know full well this situation is not dire enough to have to call in the Navy!" shouted Squidward.  
"You know, you might be right. But surely he won't forget that he wants to steal my formula, I mean people here love to watch that it's like a movie, part of  
the appeal!" said Krabs.  
"You're a sick man, Mr. Krabs" said Squidward walking away.  
"WAIT! Me brain just hatched a fabulous idea" said Krabs.  
"Oh, and what would that be?" asked Squidward.  
"You and Spongebob can go spy on Plankton and figure out what the big craze is that's bringing in so many people" suggested Mr. Krabs.  
"That's NOT what I had in mind!" shouted Squidward.

"I sure do love chum on a stick!" said SpongeBob.

"You can't be serious" said Squidward.

"Really Squidward. You oughta just try it!" said SpongeBob.

"Well, at least we don't have to drive to the Chum Bucket. I mean it's so close by it's ridiculous" said Squidward.  
"Yeah, you're lucky I'm not drivin' you here. WOOSH! Crash! Burn! Baa-lah-lah-laaah!" laughed Spongebob.  
"Oh brother" groaned Squidward. They got to the Chum Bucket and saw boats lined up for miles to see a screen hanging down from the side of the establishment.  
"Free movies with every order of Chum on a Stick!" shouted Plankton.  
"Wow Squidward. Free movies. I wonder if they have The Clamfather!" said Spongebob.  
"Oh my gosh! Culture's finally come to Bikini Bottom! This is wonderful!" said Squidward who looked surprisingly happy for the first time since he appeared  
in the Bubble Bowl.  
"Yeah!" said Spongebob.  
"Let's join in the fun, Spongebob. We're living the bigtime now" said Squidward.  
"Mr. Krabs said we're just infiltrators!" said SpongeBob.  
"No, no, we're converts" said Squidward.  
"Really?" asked Spongebob.  
"Hello boys," said Plankton. "DOWN HERE!" he shouted angrily.  
"Oh, hi Plankton" said Spongebob.  
"You two do realize you have to buy chum on a stick if you want a free movie" said Plankton.  
"Okay, forget it, I'm going back to the Krusty Krab" said Squidward.  
"Ahem. You don't have to eat it you know" said Plankton, shrugging.  
"Good point! Outta my way! CULTURED OCTOPUSS COMING THROUGH!" shouted Squidward, squashing Plankton and cutting in line after getting into his boat.

Later...

"You told me you were a swordfish!" said an actress on the screen.  
"I'm actually...a grouper!" replied the actor.  
"I..I love you just the same!" said the actress.

"Wow...that was beautiful!" said Squidward crying.  
"It sure was" replied Spongebob. Suddenly the screen collapsed and began flashing colored lights. Plankton attempted to remedy the situation.  
"Um...technical difficulties here. Serious problems!" said Plankton.  
"Oh barnacles. I was really looking forward to the Thomas Flounder Affair with Fierce Flotsam!" said Spongebob.  
"Um..KAREN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?" asked Plankton.

"DVD's just aren't doing it for me anymore. These movies stink! They don't satisfy me Sheldon," said Karen.

"Oh brother! WHAT? You won't even put something on the screen? How am I supposed to satisfy the customers? OR you? My own wife!" shouted Plankton.

"My DVD drive is worn out. And the video store got shut down too! Troutatron Prime took over everything! AND I'M GOING THROUGH MY COMPUTER THING!" shouted Karen.  
"She's going through her computer thing? NOW? Oh no!" said Plankton. Karen exploded.  
"I'll have to re-install everything. Must be Windows 10. SQUIDWARD CAN YOU FIX IT?" asked Plankton.  
"No!" replied Squidward.  
"Put the emergency back up subliminal messages on Karen!" said Plankton.  
"The one that convinces people to help you steal the formula?" asked Karen.  
"Um..NO...I mean...yes" said Plankton.  
"That program is destroyed too!" replied Karen.  
"Alright then. I have a new idea. Get Patrick involved in this...he's...um...good at this kind of thing" said Plankton.

Later that day...

"Welcome to the...uhhh...Chum Bucket Super Fun Puppet Hour" said Patrick.  
"We have puppets every day!" said Spongebob. "But..you have to buy a chumsicle!" said SpongeBob. The audience was confused.  
"I'm doomed!" said Plankton. Suddenly his business went way down.

When Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward returned to the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs was running his own drive in movies.  
"Cheer up Plankton," said SpongeBob. "You can come with us to the Krusty Krab and watch The Sponge Who Cleansed Me"  
"No. I'm going back to my favorite pastime" said Plankton.


	2. Chapter 2

The Purple Swamp Incident:

Sandy was busy housecleaning. Spongebob knocked on the door of her treedome.  
"Hey Sandy! It's me, Spongebob!" said SpongeBob.

"Hold on a second lil kelp biscuit I reckon I'll be there in a jipser if ya'll give me some time" replied Sandy. Sandy opened the door to see an ecstatic sponge  
holding flowers in his hands, smiling.

"Aww, ya'll didn't have to bring me flowers again!" said Sandy, sniffing the flowers and breathing them in happily.

"Oh, you know, it's nothing really, I mean it IS Valentine's Day" said SpongeBob.

"Ya'll sure know how to make a squirrel happy" said Sandy.

"Yeah, well, here's a cinnamon roll!" said SpongeBob.

"It sure don't look like no sweet roll" replied Sandy.

"I made it in the shape of Gary's shell" said SpongeBob.

"I reckon it's delicious, SpongeBob. Thank you!" said Sandy, extending her arms.

SpongeBob raced up into Sandy's arms, hugging her.

"You're the most incredible squirrel in the sea!" said SpongeBob.

"Heheh, heyy, slow down you little clam cracker. That's not a difficult thing to accomplish!" said Sandy.

"Oh," said SpongeBob. "I guess you're right" he added, clearing his throat and relinquishing himself from Sandy's grip.  
"How are things at the Krusty Krab?" asked Sandy.  
"Not too shabby. Mr. Krabs hasn't sent me on any dangerous journeys as of late!" said SpongeBob.  
"Well that's good...wait...what did ya'll say?" asked Sandy.

"Mr. Krabs hasn't sent me on any daring quests filled with mystery and intrigue. Sometimes he does" said SpongeBob. Sandy suddenly got a crazed look in her  
eyes.

"Mr. Krabs sends ya'll on coral crushin' grand extravagant escapades and ya'll never told me about it?" asked Sandy, pulling SpongeBob close to her.

"Um...well...no!" replied SpongeBob.

"Well what are ya'll waitin' for let's go see if he'll take us both!" said Sandy.  
"That isn't what I had in mind for today!" said SpongeBob, as Sandy dragged SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab.

Mr. Krabs was cuddling a dollar when SpongeBob and Sandy entered the Krusty Krab.  
"Howdy Mr. Krabs!" said Sandy.

"Sandy!" said Krabs, hiding his dollar. "Um..what are you...doing here at this hour?" asked Krabs.

"Weyull, I reckon I heard your best employee sayin' that you send him on all sorts of coral crushin' missions!" said Sandy.  
"Oh, that. Well yes I do. Sometimes. Not very often!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"Not very often? The boy needs excersize. EXCERSIZE!" shouted Sandy, who then began spelling out the word slowly in front of Mr. Krabs's eyestalks.  
"He flips burgers! What do you care anyway?" asked Mr. Krabs.

"Ya'll don't look like the type of pumpkin pluckin' pickle stealer that would send someone out on a mission that lacked danger, suspense, and intrigue!" said  
Sandy.  
"Well I mean they're kind of boring fetch quests to be honest. SpongeBob takes them seriously. To him a simple trip to the Dollar General is an Indiana FishBones  
film, but most people down here in the sea aren't like that" explained Mr. Krabs.  
"Oh. Yeah, I plumb reckon I've noticed the same thing about that little square dude. The smallest thing gets him going like a mexican jumping bean in a jellyfish  
jar!" said Sandy.  
"Heheh. Ehh...yeah!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"She's been eating coral bits!" said Spongebob. Sandy put her hand over SpongeBob's mouth before he could say anything else.  
"Well, the Krusty Krab isn't open today, so what are you two doing here exactly?" asked Mr. Krabs.  
"Thinkin' things over. Thinkin' about...adventure!" said Sandy, staring at Mr. Krabs.  
"Yer startin' to weird me out, lassie!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"Psst, Sandy, put on the elevator music!" whispered SpongeBob.  
"Will do, you sweet son of a snibb cookie!" said Sandy winking at SpongeBob, and blowing him a kiss.

Ten minutes of elevator music and awkward staring later..

"OKAY OKAY...you two have a very important...assignment!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"YAY! Sandy and I are going to the Used Furniture Store!" said SpongeBob.  
"Settle down me bucko there's no used furniture stores!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"How dissapointing!" said Squidward in the distance who was reading a newspaper. On rare moments he stayed in the Krusty Krab because it wasn't safe in his  
own house due to bad neighbors.

"I want you to get me...Mrs. Puff's new phone number, I mean no excuse me. Heheh!" laughed Mr. Krabs.

"What do you really want us to do Mr. K?" asked SpongeBob.  
"SpongeBob, Sandy, here's what I want you to do. I want you two to head on down to the Purple Goo Swamp!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"Wow. The purple goo swamp!" said SpongeBob who was starry-eyed.  
"Yes, now, the purple goo swamp contains a rare...yellow kelp flower. It's one of the key ingrediants of the crabby patty secret formula.  
Lately there's been scarce and smaller shipments of them. We need you to go get as many of them as possible to bring back here to the Krusty Krab!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"Yeah, ya'll have a durn scab on your butt in case ya'll didn't know!" said Sandy.  
"Hear me out Sandra! There's a catch!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"Now ya'll are speaking my language!" said Sandy.  
"Within the Purple Goo Swamp is a creature so vile, so hideous, none who have encountered him have lived to tell the tale. He only moved there recently.  
That's why there's been less shipments of this special ingrediant" said Mr. Krabs.  
"OKAY! Let's go!" said SpongeBob.  
"Yeah, sounds like a rip snortin' good time!" said Sandy.  
"Arg...what did I just do? Hope I don't go to Davy Jones Locker for this" said Mr. Krabs.

SpongeBob and Sandy arrived at the swamp following the map Mr. Krabs gave them.  
"Don't worry Sandy, if anything goes wrong, I'll protect you. I'm here for you baby!" said Spongebob.  
"Uhh..yeah, thanks. I guess. Well, we'd better get in this rowboat" said Sandy.  
"Rowboat? I don't have a license!" said SpongeBob.  
"It's a rowboat? Ya'll don't need a license for a rowboat SpongeBob" said Sandy. SpongeBob and Sandy were rowing for hours.

Many many hours later..

"What the heck is wrong with your boss? He said this would be dangerous! DANGEROUS!" said Sandy, whose eyes were becoming red.  
"Any second now that monster's gonna eat up our boat" said SpongeBob.  
"That monster's as real as a moose in a pigs feet jar SpongeBob! WE NEED REAL FRICKIN' DANGER!" said Sandy.  
"Yeh...yeah, you could be right Sandra" said SpongeBob who sounded exhausted from rowing so much.  
"I-I-I have an idea. I'll write a song, and-and-and...SING IT!" said Sandy, who sounded as though she was completely losing her mind.  
"How's the song go?" asked SpongeBob.  
"It's about sponges, and squirrels" said Sandy.

"I like it so far!" said SpongeBob raising his eyebrows.

Sandy picked up a guitar and began tuning it, and then strumming it. She stood on a lily pad and began drawing a picture on the backside of the map Mr. Krabs  
gave her. It was a picture of a sponge and a squirrel.  
"Listen up ya'll. This is a lil number I wrote about sponges and squirrels. Squirrels and sponges is like motorcars and petrol, polluted swamps and oil spills,  
jellyfish and stinger missiles!" said Sandy.

OHHHHHHHHH...  
Yippie aye eh, yippie aye earl,  
he's my sponge and I'm his squirrel.  
His name's not Henry, his name's not Earl.  
Spun me round, so I gave him a twirl.

Yippie aye eh, yippie aye earl,  
he's my sponge and I'm his squirrel. Yee-haw!  
He lives on junk food, that'd make me hurl, yet his breath is cleaner...than a pearl  
He's my sponge and I'm his squirrel. Yee-haw!

Eatin' ice cream, chocolate swirl, there's my sponge, I'm his squirrel.  
Caught him dressed up...like a girl.  
Sure he's a sponge, but I'll take the plunge.  
He starts to send me...for a whirl. Spins me round and round, makin' me glad I'm a squirrel.

"What did ya'll think?" asked Sandy.  
"Wow Sandy...that was beautiful!" said Spongebob.  
"Yeah, I thought you'd like that. I stayed up all night working on a time machine but the blueprints got spilled on and I wrote that poem instead" explained  
Sandy.  
"You know that makes total and complete sense. Sandy, your song is true!" said Spongebob.  
"Thanks, I knew you'd understand" replied Sandy. Spongebob hugged Sandy.  
"You never were short of surprises" said Spongebob. Sandy's eyes widened.  
"Na-na-neither were you, Spongebob" replied Sandy.

Later...

Spongebob and Sandy had almost fallen asleep when suddenly a giant orange slimey eel appeared out of nowhere cutting the boat in half and sending  
Spongebob and Sandy drifting apart.  
"Sandy your tail is in my face!" said Spongebob as the eel brushed up against him.  
"Wha-wha what? That ain't mah tail!" shouted Sandy as she woke up. Sandy saw the giant eel wreaking havoc.  
"Come on, no pranks. That's...that's your tail!" said Spongebob laughing in his sleep.  
"HOLY JOHN WAYNE BANANA SLACKS. What are we gonna do now?" shouted Sandy. "SPONGEBOB WAKE UP!" she shrieked.  
"Huh? What? SANDY! It's the Alaskan Bull Worm" said SpongeBob.  
"That ain't no alaskan bull-worm. That's that thing your disgusting boss warned us about" said Sandy.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Spongebob.  
"We gotta get on that thing NOW!" said Sandy. Sandy grabbed Spongebob as the eel was splashing about in the filthy swamp that was filled with old tires  
and retired jeeps and trucks.  
"This thing needs to..learn..some...manners!" said Sandy, thwacking the eel with a whip. The eel electrocuted both Spongebob and Sandy, and they fell in the  
swamp.

"Wow! There really is an electrifying connection between us, isn't there Sandy? Sandy? SANDY ARE YOU OKAY?" asked SpongeBob in a loud tone.  
"I-I-I've trained buffalo. I-I-I just don't understand it. I wanted to tame an eel, this isn't fair! I miss Texas.

I miss mah brother Paul, sister Suzy, Uncle Rohn, mah wonderful girlfriend in the country music industry Misty Conkernut, mah pet goldfish Rusty, mah aunt Rebecca, mah fantastic ex-boyfriend Earl, my Garth Brookes albums, mah favorite acorn Andy...where did it all slip awaaay?" screamed Sandy, who began bursting into tears.  
"Sandy, don't you see? This is what you wanted. This was an adventure" said SpongeBob.  
"We didn't even get the magic dinosaur nickel!" said Sandy.  
"What?" asked Spongebob.  
"I...DON'T...PLUMB...KNOW!" replied Sandy.  
"HEY! SANDY! THERE IT IS!" screamed Spongebob pointing to the yellow flower. The eel swam up and swallowed it.  
"There it was, Spongebob. There it was. All our hopes and dreams...crushed!" said Sandy. Spongebob suddenly got a determined look on his face. He gathered up  
courage. And he lept atop the eel.  
"Ok Sandy, I'm gonna do what you would ordinarily do if you weren't acting like a stark raving lunatic. I'm gonna pry open this suckers mouth and get  
the flower, it's not too late!" said Spongebob.  
"SPONGEBOB! NO!" shouted Sandy.  
"I know what eels like more than anything. Music!" said Spongebob, pulling out a radio. Oddly enough, it worked. He spit out the flower, and Sandy  
caught it in mid-air. The two friends returned to the Krusty Krab.  
"I reckon I have trained you well!" said Sandy, as she held Spongebob's hand.

Mr. Krabs was asleep.  
"We did it Mr. Krabs. Sandy and I got the yellow flower for the crabby patty secret formula" said SpongeBob.

"OH NO! YOU REALLY ARE GETTING MARRIED!" said Mr. Krabs, horrified.

"WhaT? No. We got the flower!" said SpongeBob.  
"Wha-WHAT? Hold on a minute, that thing actually exists? I mean...heheh...good job you two suckers!" said Mr. Krabs.  
"Guess what else? I showed SpongeBob a song I wrote! Got me a purdy friend down in Texas, Misty Dolly Conkernut, she has connections, she'll help me make it big!" said Sandy.

"Me and Sandy just wanna know when our next assignment is!" said SpongeBob.  
"What? That'll never happen SB and Sandy! No need to say anything more, you two lovebirds. Bye now!" said Mr. Krabs.

Suddenly the lights went dim and Sandy pulled out a microphone. Disco lights filled the room as well.

"Ah-hem! Okay ya'll. Listen up, land critters and sea critters need each other!

Sponges and squirrels is like chum buckets and chum, crabby patties and ketchup, vacuum cleaners and propane tanks, laundry detergent and martian jackrabbits!"

THE END


End file.
